Words of a Woman Warrior: The Importance of Peer Support

By Ysabel Cardona, Navy Veteran

I come from a military family - my grandfather was Army. My Dad is a Marine. I knew I wanted to follow my families' footsteps and serve, but I wanted to be different. So, in 1999, at 18, I enlisted in the Navy. I love the ocean, I wanted to travel the world, and I wanted to find my purpose.

I’m proud to have served my country. I have no regrets. But I went through a lot in service – and afterward, too. Isolation, depression, military sexual trauma (MST), homelessness, divorce – you name it, I went through it. But I got out on the other side because I allowed myself to take a knee, raise my hand, and say, “I need support.” I learned to lean on my brothers and sisters and I’m better for it.

When I Realized I Needed Support

I was always strong and independent. Asking for help didn’t come naturally. I was the person who others could come to if they needed support, but I didn’t know how to ask for it myself. I started to feel like I was taking on the world while it weighed heavily on my shoulders.

I was isolating; I was depressed; I was quiet. I didn’t want to tell people what was going on, but I was hitting a dark point in my life. I reached a point where I didn’t know if I wanted to be here anymore, but I didn’t want to put that on anyone else. So, I remained on my own for a long time, quietly fighting my own battles.

But I realized I couldn’t be there for others while I was struggling – at least, I couldn’t show up in the way I wanted. To be a better sister to my fellow veterans, I had to learn to be there for myself, too.

When I got out of the military, I didn’t have the kind of support network to catch me when I fell. I had to build my tribe. I wanted to be a strong woman warrior who was able to show up for herself, and others, but to do that I needed to surround myself with other strong women who I could lean on.

I found organizations like Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP). I found women-only peer support groups, events, and resources to give me that safety net I needed. I met other women who had been through similar things or were going through the same journey, giving me a safe place to land.  

I needed a network of people to tell me, “Hey, take your two minutes, feel your feelings, and then let’s figure out how to move forward together.” That was the priceless part – togetherness. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t alone. Other women had not only gone through what I had, but they were on the other side, being vulnerable, sharing their strength, and being a light to guide others through their own challenges.

I needed that light, and I wanted to be that light for others.

Finding Strength in Women Supporting Women

I am truly blessed to have found my tribe. We are a mix of woman warriors who understand each other and the obstacles and triumphs we had to go through together. 

There are resources out there for us as woman warriors and we can use them together. It’s hard for us to say, “I need help,” but it’s a little bit easier when you know you have a group of other strong women behind you.

I learned that I can continue to be a strong, independent woman and still lean on other women who have been in my shoes.

I live in a rural area, and I didn’t know that I had a network of women who would be there to support me and whom I could also support. But I reached out, and I found my community.  I learned that I can continue to be a strong, independent woman and still lean on other women who have been in my shoes."

That community is beautiful. To simply get out and do things together, to have each other to talk to about anything from dating struggles to the weather, it’s amazing. Peer support is so much more than our struggles – it’s our triumphs, our togetherness, that make us strong.

The Path Forward, Together

I can’t do everything on my own, and that’s fine. It’s so freeing to reach out and have that hand on the other side to help me.

I learned to prioritize myself, and that includes being OK with leaning on others. I recognize that it doesn’t happen overnight. I didn’t find one program or person that suddenly made me OK with asking for help or that made me confident in being vulnerable. It’s a process, and it needs to be taken one day, one step, at a time. That’s my new mantra.

But to keep that circle going and to be there for my sisters, I have to keep filling my own cup. It starts with me.

It’s also important to keep lifting each other up and keep showing up for each other. To make a difference, we need to remind ourselves and each other that we’re loved, we’re strong, and we can do it. We have to take it one day at a time.

We’ve all been through so much. It’s important to remember that we didn’t go through it alone and we can’t make it to the other side alone, either.

Find out how WWP helps warriors like Ysabel thrive.

About Wounded Warrior Project 

Since 2003, Wounded Warrior Project^® (WWP) has been meeting the growing needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers — helping them achieve their highest ambition. Learn more about Wounded Warrior Project.